i'm at a certain point.
a point where nothing is set in stone.
a point where i have no idea where i am, or where i want to go.
a certain point that explains,
i don't know what i'm doing.
i can see it like an old home movie.
sneaking out in the middle of the night, and walking to 7-11.
laughing for feeling so rebellious.
i can see her sitting there, and for the first time,
watching her tears slid down her cheeks,
and hearing her secrets.
i keep watching this movie, unable to tear my eyes away.
stumbling at K's house.
hiking until our legs could not bear it anymore.
so many trips in the car, adventures created from missing an exit.
holding her in my arms.
patting her head and telling her it's alright.
praying for her happiness.
the film is never-ending.
yet, i find myself with a knot in my stomach.
like something is going terribly wrong, but i don't know what.
maybe it's my own fear.
maybe it's what other people say.
i refuse to believe the norms.
"people move on. things change."
i always say:
"not us."
"well, you never know."
"no, i DO know. it'll never happen."
i'm trying to keep that belief.
make that statement worth something.
it's probably my own panic.
but i've been called a worrier.
i guess it's just to live for now.
stop worrying about the later.
and keep watching.
because this movie, i hope,
will never end.
with love and light,
eve morgan
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