i just realized i watch too much T.V.
my imagination is too wild.
instead of feeling grounded and okay with her uneven words,
i just thought of sand.
piles and piles of sand.
shivering hands pushed into jacket sleeves,
and tires screeching over sobs.
curling and uncurling.
my wrists hurt.
hazing my horizons.
my head hurts.
it's ridiculous how so much time can pass but things can stay the same.
like the way she let everything go.
how the hugs felt when i visited home.
the sobs over the phone.
and how you still show up even when you aren't supposed to.
that's how i know.
they are the green light and the rest are the yield.
and i really want to race.
so why are all the red lights in my way?
maybe it's time to press down the gas pedal anyway.
the faster you go, the quicker you'll get to where you wanna be.
and i'm not sure i want to be here.
but i know that i don't want to be driving alone.
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