there's something about sitting in a coffee shop with a ceramic mug and a computer that brings out the writer in me.
it's unfortunate that i only find this feeling in a shop back home instead of in the city where i'm trying to start anew.
the more i'm there, i slowly forget about this blog,
forget about my notebooks and journals,
and i live instead of write what i wish to do when scribbling.
although adventuring has it's perks,
i still like to reflect once in a while.
reflect on my choices,
my battles,
my struggles,
and how i grasped happiness through it all.
well,
i'm still trying to attain that last one.
but isn't everyone?
screw California
and friends that are never there
and places that they oughta
pretend that they even care
for a long time, i considered myself weak.
weak-willed, passive, and scrawny;
trying to lift the heaviest of boxes
just to make a point.
i'm not as weak as you think i am.
and i'm surprised and eager to say,
i wasn't just speaking to others when that thought crossed.
i was proving it to myself.
i am not a weak girl.
although it may seem so, i've got muscle.
and that doesn't just mean physicality either.
i've been in fights with my own mind,
but down the bad thoughts went, K.O.
i've had remake people's orders and listen to screaming words.
but i keep a smile and still say "have a nice day."
i've gotten my heart-broken,
but i can bend down and pick up the pieces.
i've lost people i care about and love,
doesn't mean i don't smile when i think about them.
i've been kicked around, beat up and all around abused.
and instead of crying in bed, unable to get up,
i'm running.
i'm traveling.
i'm lifting myself to a higher point.
i'm living my life instead of letting it pass me by.
although you are gone, and hey, you always have been,
i'm not going to back down and cower away.
i'll walk into the light,
look up at the sky, and think
"wow. what a great day it is to live."
and i'll smile.
with
or without you,
i'll still find a way to smile.
with love and light,
eve morgan
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