Aware and Alive.

the world was once in my hands
but it's yours again
and i have seen this happen more than once before
i have looked around me
over and over again
searching for something that is beautiful

have i found the thing that i desire?

i woke up this morning and i knew i was alive.
but that wasn't the only thing.
i woke up this morning aware.
aware of not just my life,
but others as well,
and everything surrounding both mine
and theirs
connected by outside figures
giving us a bond
that would not break.

i've set sail on the winds of change,
but these winds confuse me
and i desperately am searching for land
but all around me there is an endless sea.

i've never been so confused.

have i been stuck here in the same place?
have you been there all this time?
have you been up in the clouds?
i need you to come down

i have never been a believer in true love
or that people never leave and go.
but it's been a surprise
when i get that cranking feeling inside my gut in the morning,
or at night.
its twisting and turning
pulling and pushing
tugging
and i know that it comes back to something else.
someone else.

i've never thought that i could feel someone.
especially when they are not there.
i get scared for no reason,
but i know its not my fear.
i get anxious about nothing,
but it's not my nervousness that washes onto my ship.
my ship is still steady,
but the sea rocks it every now and again.

i get the feeling that one day,
it'll knock me overboard.
not so i'll drown.
but so i can stay in one place.
and be swimming again in the arms of the sea.

my life was once in my hands
but now its yours again
and i know i have never felt like this before
the times you have found me
over and over again
giving me something that is beautiful
have i found the thing that i desire?

i woke up this morning aware and alive.
are you my sea?