Won't You Stay.

lovely girl won't you stay
won't you stay
stay with me
all my life i was blind
i was blind,
but now i see

i never really imagined how different it is.
being here, surrounded be these four walls,
walls which contained my home.
contained my sleep,
contained my lazy habits,
contained my tortured sighs,
and my constant breakdowns.

this was my space.
this was my privacy.

but now i'm a stranger.
it still calls to me, but now,
i cannot hear the sounds.

fleet of black
fleet of black limousines
these tinted machines
here comes the cavalcade

with armored cars
armored cars like berettas
flags on antennaes designed to keep me safe
keep me safe 

it's hard to even believe how 7 weeks have changed me.
molded me into something different,
replacing parts of me.
that, or just pushing some attributes into the closet.
like my love of creativity.
or my sense of laziness.

some parts i'd love to come back.
like the rush i get when i write for my own self.
or the smile that crosses my face when i find a funny paragraph in a book.
there's something about the written word that intrigues me.
but the way someone speaks them sends chills through my veins.
maybe that's why i'm so fascinated by film.

i don't know whether or not i find my writing as interesting as others.
but i know one thing: it's real.
so real that i sometimes scare myself.

but it's who i am.
how i write and how i speak my ideas,
does not need to be understood by anyone but myself.
thinking otherwise just leads to defeat.
and i know i am stronger than that.

t.v. cameras,
t.v. cameras and stagehands
american bandstand,
electric guitars

and he's singing songs,
singing songs for the lonely
all the girls with the room keys,
they know all his words by heart
by heart

my heart lies in different places.
in alamo.
in dublin.
in seattle.
in san diego.
and in san francisco.

my life is only just starting.
according to my paternal role model.
but the difference between him and i,
is that i know what's important.
and where the pieces of my heart should lie.
but the biggest piece,
the one that involves all my creative virtue,
belongs here.

in writing.

so that's how it will stay.
i just have to keep reminding myself,
that it will always be here.

thank you God, for telling me.
or else i would have been lost.

lovely girl, won't you stay
won't you stay
stay with me
all my life i was blind
i was blind,
but now i see