Make Color.

i'm changing things a bit.
new fonts, new colors,
and new change.

this isn't going to be another blog post with different lyrics explaining how i feel.
this is just me writing about me.
that's all this blog ever was in the first place.
so i think this may be the end.

i sit up in bed, contemplating the summertime, and i think about what to do.
should i call someone, should i watch tv, read a book;
what should i do?
three years ago i would have told myself to paint. to draw.
to make something of what my hands could do.
of what my mind could do.
but instead i turn mush into my mind, and numbness into my fingertips.

i don't do.
i don't do anything that warrants creativity anymore.
and it's so ironic because in less than two months,
i'll be at one of the most diverse and inspirational places,
with a creative writing english major.

what a joke.

what a fallacy.

i'm going to be who i was at fifteen.
at least she made the effort to make color.
someone once told me that i put color into his life.
now i think it's time to do that with myself.
make something right.

the strings are gonna come out.
the acrylic will splatter.
the ink will run.
and the tears will stop.

i'll make a difference this time.


anyway i can.

with color,
with love,
and with light.