Copper Instead Of Bronze.

i'm home for break.
and i'm already feeling the urge to go back to the city.
there's too many memories here,
and i'm trying to forget and focus
on now,
not on past.

i can hold my breath
i can bite my tongue
i can stay awake for days
if that's what you want
be your number one

i did the right thing,
but there's a deep knife still wrenched inside my gut.
that feeling,
that fire,
that contraction, that pain
where someone you care about hurts.
it's a feeling that comes after a thought.
"i just want you to be okay."
and i sit and worry with that thought and feeling.
even though i did the right thing,
i still feel guilty about what may or may not come to pass.

i can fake a smile
i can force a laugh
i can dance and play the part
if that's what you ask
give you all i am

i can do it

but i'm only human

it's true; i'm only human.
and it's not like i've been a robot throughout this whole thing.
as much as i want to help, to be that holding hand,
i have to think about my hands first.
it's sounds selfish, but i think now it's finally time to be.
being selfless all your life isn't healthy.

this post is obviously a pointed one.
they all usually are.
you just have to read between the lines to catch a glimpse.
really study the words to grab a meaning.
(unless you know me pretty well, then i'm an open book.)
an open book that's only human.

but i'm only human
i bleed when i fall down
i'm only human
i crash and i break down
your words in my head, knives in my heart
you build me up then i fall apart
'cause i'm only human

i don't want to be the treasure inside the box that people have to search for years to find.
i want to be the ordinary charm that the girl wears everyday,
not the brooch that sits underneath the glass day after day.
either use the key or give it to someone else.
because i'm getting tired of waiting.
i'm patient, but my head is screaming.
and has been,
for a long time.

i can take so much
until i've had enough

i've had enough.
i care,
and i've been through wear and tear,
but it's time to get patched up.
and i know there will be a wound soon, my dear.
so deep it feels like you can burst.
it may seem like the worst,
but you can get through this.
just like i've gotten through mine.

it's time that both of us get patched up.
because this infection needs to stop.

if you find it to be any kind of real;
you know that we must heal.

with love and light,
Eve Morgan