In Your Eyes, Babe

                    

i sense a runner in the garden
although my judgements known to fail
once built a steamboat in a meadow
cos i'd forgotten how to sail

i moved into my college dorm room the other day.
it was all fun and games, moving my stuff all around.
books lining the shelves, bedspreads and sheets, clothes, coffee, desk paraphernalia...
and after everything was put away and unpacked;
this sinking feeling welled up in my gut.

and it still hasn't gone away.

i just feel like someone has shoved me out of my life, the one that i loved living, and pushed me into one that is scary, awkward, and foreign.
i don't like this feeling.

i know the runner's going to tell you
there ain't no cowboy in my hair
so now he's buried by the daisies 
so i could stay the tallest man in your eyes babe

i woke up today feeling like i'm at some sort of camp.
that the routine i'm pushing myself to do will just end,
and that all this stuff thrown out around me,
will be placed in the same suitcase, and i will take the same car,
and i'll drive myself home.

but this is my home now.

it's so hard to remember that.
but ten or twelve, or thirty days from now;
i won't feel like this.
i won't nauseate over the creeping anxiety running through my abdomen,
or the panicking breaths that i'm just beginning to know.

through out all of this, all this adjustment, all these new experiences, all these new people, new routines, new living areas, new food, new everything...
i'll still have some of the old to help get with all of the incoming new.
like my breakfast club poster.
or a cup of coffee from my favorite mug.
my tiger pillowpet.
a skype call from someone i love.
and calls from the people who raised me.

those things are what will get me by.
because i need the sentimental's.
no matter how different this "new beginning" or "new life" is.

but who knows?
college might just be the biggest trial of all.
or the biggest gift.

only time will tell.