Straight On Till Morning.

it's been a long time.
posting, writing, and other things.
everything feels different somehow,
and i never knew whether to embrace it or to simply,
beat it out.

i'm surprised at how easily i fall.
at how easy it to dream,
and how susceptible i am to change.

i'm scared.
because as of now, i have no boundaries.
everything is a joke, and everything isn't complicated.
it's how it should be.
so why am i still struggling to accept?

i'm a mess in a dress
can't show up on time
even if it would save my life
according to you, according to you

i got advice from someone who i never thought would.
it was a first, that is for sure.
i didn't know what to think at first.
whether it was a push, or whether it was a pull.
and i'm still debating,
on whether i want to go left or right.

but according to him
i'm beautiful, incredible
he can't get me out of his head

according to him
i'm funny, irresistible
everything he ever wanted

it's interesting how things turn out.
who leaves and who stays.
that sometimes you didn't even notice that the ones who you hardly knew,
were the ones that wanted to know you.

i guess i am a "kiddo".
that's how it feels anyway.
i'm not ashamed of it, or even a bit defensive.
because it's the truth.

i don't know what's ahead.
i don't know whether things will work.
but as a kid, as a person, i'll willing to try.
i'm willing to do what it takes.
because i deserve to be happy.
no matter what you say.

according to you
i'm stupid, i'm useless
i can't do anything right

i need to stop hiding behind the fear.
because fear is just a window.
you think the glass is a shield,
when it just reveals who you are,
and you're just not willing to step out and share.

it's time.
no more excuses, no more regrets.
because experience is what matters.
happiness is what matters.
and love,
will do just that.

"but i don't want to grow up!"

and indeed, when i'm old,
i'll still be the kid i was now.
the kiddo.

with love and light,
eve morgan