Straight On Till Morning.

it's been a long time.
posting, writing, and other things.
everything feels different somehow,
and i never knew whether to embrace it or to simply,
beat it out.

i'm surprised at how easily i fall.
at how easy it to dream,
and how susceptible i am to change.

i'm scared.
because as of now, i have no boundaries.
everything is a joke, and everything isn't complicated.
it's how it should be.
so why am i still struggling to accept?

i'm a mess in a dress
can't show up on time
even if it would save my life
according to you, according to you

i got advice from someone who i never thought would.
it was a first, that is for sure.
i didn't know what to think at first.
whether it was a push, or whether it was a pull.
and i'm still debating,
on whether i want to go left or right.

but according to him
i'm beautiful, incredible
he can't get me out of his head

according to him
i'm funny, irresistible
everything he ever wanted

it's interesting how things turn out.
who leaves and who stays.
that sometimes you didn't even notice that the ones who you hardly knew,
were the ones that wanted to know you.

i guess i am a "kiddo".
that's how it feels anyway.
i'm not ashamed of it, or even a bit defensive.
because it's the truth.

i don't know what's ahead.
i don't know whether things will work.
but as a kid, as a person, i'll willing to try.
i'm willing to do what it takes.
because i deserve to be happy.
no matter what you say.

according to you
i'm stupid, i'm useless
i can't do anything right

i need to stop hiding behind the fear.
because fear is just a window.
you think the glass is a shield,
when it just reveals who you are,
and you're just not willing to step out and share.

it's time.
no more excuses, no more regrets.
because experience is what matters.
happiness is what matters.
and love,
will do just that.

"but i don't want to grow up!"

and indeed, when i'm old,
i'll still be the kid i was now.
the kiddo.

with love and light,
eve morgan

Risks.

i've been contemplating.
about a lot of things.
about what i want to do, who i want to be, and how i'm going to get either in my grasp.

but yet, as i set that goal,
when i get up in the morning, it just seems...
out of reach.

i'm coming up to hold you under
and coming up to show you wrong
and to know you is hard; we wonder...
to know you all wrong; we warn

there's a road i've been taking.
one that's sharp, and that's messy.
one that doesn't lead me completely in the right direction,
but my goal is beyond the horizon.
yet i always feel like turning back the way i came.
just to start over again.

i've been thinking a lot about risk.
the way it works, and why is it that no one ever takes it.
it's because of fear.
and i've had my frightful days.
but a friend told me that they were essential; that we needed them to draw the path of our lives, not follow one that's laid out.
we make our own destiny.

"risks are important. they allow us to look back and feel like we really lived."

there's no point in being a coward.
because cowardice gives you nothing in return.
you never get anything if you don't try.
so now, i don't have goals.
i don't sit around thinking of what i can do to achieve them.
i just know.

really too late to call
so we wait for; morning to wake you
is all we got
to know me is hardly golden
is to know me all wrong, they warn

it's time to jump.
there's no turning back when life is concerned.
and that's what we all want, isn't it?
to live.

so why not try?
why not experience and take a chance?
risks are what makes us who we are.
the only thing we need to do,
is gain the courage to take them.

to the outside: the dead leaves lay on the lawn
for they don't have trees to hand their own

i'm coming up only to show you down for
and coming up only to show you wrong

don't be scared.
because even if it's lost,
you'll still have won.

with love and light,
eve morgan