"Don't Forget to Breathe."

art.
that word used to mean paintings.
drawings.
that's what a lot of people think when they hear the word "art".
because it is art.
but not all of it.

there is so much more.
art to everyone should and must mean passion.
desires.
what you do in the day that pleases you and makes you happy.
so many things i do help me greatly.
drawing.
painting.
singing.
composing.
writing.
acting.
living.

but most of all, what get's everything going..
is helping.
it's "how my heart behaves."
that's what i do.
help.
in any way possible.
to anyone i can.

i cannot think that if i stopped, i could still be stable.
still be standing.
but i can't stop; it's not who i am.

"the whole world is on your case,
i could offer you a warm embrace.."

i had thought that if i tried hard, that it would be too much and i would topple over.
i'd push so far that i'd forget to breathe.
but words shocked me.
being called strong for my weaknesses.
for my mistakes.
for my failures.
for my flaws.

strength is a hard thing to come by.
and it's another thing to actually be able to grasp it.
to hold it in your hands.
to feel it all around you.
to feel it inside you.

i don't "feel" strong.
but i can see that other people know.
that they know i have strength in me.
and they help me believe it, too.

i'm a helper.
i'm a writer.
i'm a musician and a singer.
i'm an artist.

but the art doesn't really lie in the work ahead.
it's you, and who is beside you for everything you are.

"though winds of change are blowing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing yet"

weight has suddenly become very familiar to me.
i think we're close to being friends.
because, bit by bit...
it gets a little less heavy.

"thank you."

with love and light,
eve morgan

Smiling Through the Frown.

"every beginning must have an end."
it's been a real crazy three years.
or any time in three's.

i came back to a place so familiar today.
yet everything that i had loved about it was suddenly just...
gone.
everything familiar was suddenly strange.
it wasn't the reflection i was used to.

it made me really figure out who and what was special to me.
according to him, i'm a fool.
according to you, i'm so brave.
according to her, i'm worthy.
and according to them...
i'm no one.

i'm okay with being unseen.
because the invisible ones are the ones that succeed.
the ones that shine.
and i know who i am.
the ones who tell me different don't matter.

i'm lucky to have the friends i have.
the ones that i can call no matter the time or situation.
that i never have to impress.
i can make faces and noises and instead of weird looks...
i'll get laughs.

that's one thing i'll try my damnedest to find.
ones to laugh with in a bind.

"friendship isn't about whom you've known the longest. it's about who came, and never left your side."

with love and light,
eve morgan

"The End of An Era."

i'm supposed to be doing homework right now.
finishing a class, to be quite specific.
but with everything, i feel like i owe it to myself to write.
to tell it how it is.

i've wasted a lot of time.
a lot of energy and and a lot of effort.
i try really hard to convince myself that there was a point to all this.
but yet somehow i still don't understand.

i've been a busy bee lately.
with a lot of different things, that none of which put a grin on my face.
none of what i'm accomplishing has really "helped" me.
except for the running.
but sometimes it's like running to nowhere.
"never run to emptiness, but slowly walk towards the world."
i've love to see the world.
for everything and anything.

things are traveling by, but they are only stopping to see the sights.
never really experiencing the place for all of it's glory.
all of it's splendors.
all of it's folly.

i guess the term "you never know what you've got until it's gone" really applies here.
i have someone who is like family.
my older sister.
who will not be calling in the middle of the night to see me.
not because she won't want to.
or that i won't jump at the chance to.
it's one of those times where i wish i had superpowers.
that i could be strong enough to save everyone, and keep them here to revel with me.
revel in all that is good.

but i have to sacrifice.
and that's okay, i understand it.
doesn't mean i want to.

the film of my life plays over and over again, until it bursts into flames.
replaying and never ending until there is nothing left to watch.
to see.
i have albums and albums of mental photographs pasted on the wall of what i call my mind.
stuck there like glue.
never giving way.

there are many, and yet i can only spot a couple.
my favorites.
the hills.
sitting on benches.
walking down the streets of san francisco.
seeing an old van in the senior parking lot.
only able to catch glimpses of DL and DA.
the edge of camille.

"you only live once."
"memories last a lifetime."
this is true. all of it.
but i just can't seem to remove this one:

"collect moments // not things."

trust me, i have.
and i'll never stop.
i'll clutch them so tight.
and even when it's over....

i'll never let go.

with love and light,
eve morgan

"The Adventure Awaits."

i don't know what i'm gonna write about today.
i look at my red wall, and i know i am bold.
that this color brings out the strength to the rest of the room.
to the rest of me.

i went to the store the other day.
mostly buying stuff that only the gilmore girls could eat.
i came across one of my favorite thing's to devour, and grabbed packages and packages.
yet when they slammed face first into the shopping cart, all i could think about was sitting at my desk with my computer and a bowl, laughing and talking with a friend of mine.
that was when i smiled and frowned at the same time.
and after that, images popped up in my brain.
"this and that and the other thing."

i see so many things.
then i smile.
but awaiting a frown.
that stupid, unwanted frown.
that dumb, ol' sinking feeling that never seems to leave.
it just keeps popping up.

"i miss you."

so many things that i have seen remind me. but even with the frown, i laugh.
laugh at the memory.
because i can remember.
i'd hate to forget.
so i laugh.
treasuring them in my mind.
because even with the frown, i know...

more memories are yet to come.
all there to do:
is wait.

with love and light,
eve morgan

Mr. Green.

with all of the different shades, different colors in our world...
the only color anyone ever notices..

is the color green.

money.

"money is what makes the world go round."
what a completely stupid analogy.
money takes over everything.
it's how we buy things.
how we make a living.
how we survive.

i hate thinking that i'm surviving on something that sends people into depression. into greed. into death.
i've seen how money affects people.
they're happy when they have it.
angry when they don't.
then they unrelentingly strive for some.
some money to scrape by.

and people who have money, lots and lots of it.
they just abuse their luck, and spend, spend, spend.
all on themselves.
so much greed.
so much envy.

this world is sick.
so sick, and controlled by what's making everyone ill.

i'm so tired. of watching, of sitting by while people i care about are struggling.
here.
there.
everywhere.
i can't stand it.
i'm done being the witness. of standing behind because one has "too much pride" to accept help.
here, we need help.
there, they need help.
everyone is calling.
cant you hear them?
shouting out.
whispering.
calling for us.

i feel like everyone is calling out.
screaming my name out like it's the only word they can speak.

it's time i make a stand.
it's time that i give back.

no more standing on the sidelines.

it's time to go into the fight.

with love and light,
eve morgan

Before Sunset.

new paint.
new color.
new room.
new perspective.
new friends.
new journeys.
new knowledge.

new change.

a lot of things happened this summer.
a lot of old, but a lot of new.
new is good.
at least... most new is good.

but i don't like leaving the old either.
i wish there were ways to combine the two. the new and the old.
life would feel so much better that way.
but things change.
people leave.
and in turn, new hearts arrive. and they meet you.
by that, however... every day the old slip by.
you forget.

well, screw that.

i'm cherishing the old.
and embracing the new.

i've been told i have one of the greatest memories.

superstitions won't stop me from using it.

"you were, for me / everything i always dreamt of in life."

with love and light,
eve morgan

"You Take My Troubles Away."

i'm really excited for what's coming ahead.
school, nah.
but just the feeling of being back. with people, with a job to do, tasks to be done.
i'm anxious, yeah.
but all around excited.

i feel like this year will be different.
different from what i don't know.
but i've learned a lot of things this summer.
hell, i've changed a lot this summer.

and i think good has come.
bad as well, but that won't stop me.
nothing can stop me now.

i have no idea what i'm doing with my life.
i really don't.
and i'm not scared.

i don't feel cheated. knowledge comes and goes in my head.
the knowledge of the future shouldn't be one of them.
all i know, and all i should know is:
i'm taking whatever's coming at me head on.
no matter what.
i'm going to live my life.
really live.

"worrying about the future only strays you away from the present. and you'll never have a future if you're stuck in the past."

so world, watch out.
i'm comin' for ya.

with love and light,
eve morgan

"My Life Coach Once Told Me..."

yes, yes i know..
i didn't post yesterday.
usually when that happens, i'm having a good time and i forget.
so it's alright.
nothing's the matter.
i'm still me.

but for today i'm going to state a list of goals.
goals that i really wish to complete, but if they don't: at least i tried.

1. start participating more in generationchange, invisible children, and missions.
2. read more intellectual books then the generic teenage stories.
3. write more, and maybe complete a song.
4. make the best of senior year.

those are all i can come up with right now.
and hopefully...

those aren't the last.

with love and light,
eve morgan

Delving In The Unknown.

i've come to notice that relationships aren't always easy.
any kind of relationship.
family.
friends.
love interests.

it's all so ridiculous, really. the "drama" or fighting that goes on between the human race.
yet... the way we communicate is so interesting.
perplexing.
down right confusing.

because every single person communicates in a different way.
and i think that's why we find at least one other person interesting.
peculiar.
fascinating.

(i could just be talking like this because i've been watching too much doctor who.)

but i truly am trying to be serious here.
we are all interconnected.
everyone.
and it's purely fascinating to me that we all have something in common with one another.
it makes me want to find my place.
with where i am, or with someone else.

i want to know people's life stories.
explore someone else's mind.
and get away from one too familiar.

"time to go exploring."

with love and light,
eve morgan

Clutter.

i started painting my room today.
what i realized as i started to collect my belongs and move them elsewhere was that i had a lot of things.
most of these things were pieces of crap.

yet... others were things i really treasured.

like my pink box filled with notes since the 8th grade.
or the shoe box overflowing with written journals.

it just makes me realize what i waste my time with.
little books meant for twelve year old's.
video games that i never feel like playing anymore.
printed pictures from my childhood years that i had planned to re-draw but never did.

it's time to clean out all the clutter.
with my belongs and with myself.

"time for a fresh start."

i don't know where i'm going.
or what i'm going to do.
i'll make the best with my abilities.

and hopefully...
make a difference in someone's eyes.

with love and light,
eve morgan

Now is Then's Only Tomorrow.

i'm going to try something new.
at first to explain, i own this one book filled with pages and pages of different poetry.
some of it's really crude, and others really show the personality of the writers.
one poem i really love is written by one Kenneth Patchen: What is the Beautiful?
i'm using it as inspiration for this one.

lashes fluttering open.
pounding ache from the brightness of the sun.
yet the warmth calms.
paces of feet walking down gravel.
a giant mesh of green.

pause.

and begin again.
fingers entwining with another's.
laughter ringing through the halls.
pure and seemingly unreal bliss.
sharing and ignoring bare feet burning from others eyes.

pause.

and begin again.
finding solace in the simplest harmony.
the tides crashing against the earth.
breathing in deep the smell of salt.
watching another day leap with time.

pause.

and begin again.
lashes fluttering closed.
surrounded by heavy hearts and eyes.
one is absent.
will one favor another?
will the world overcome it's spawn?
will the essence of man dry thin?
will one differentiate between light and dark?
will we escape the labyrinth?

pause.

and begin again.
i believe that everyone needs forgiveness.
i believe that nothing precious is worth fighting for.
i believe that it takes time to heal, and within that time, live it to the best.
i believe that the world is corrupt.
that tonight, the sun sets and the stars align.
together we walk.
"i'll follow you into the dark."

pause.

and begin again.

with love and light,
eve morgan

"Do More Than Just Watch."

i'm back to once a day.
i feel that it's needed.
it may not work, or it will work out smoothly.
only time will tell.

we live in a world of selfishness.
i come across so many people, complaining that they don't have the finer things in life.
but they don't even want to see how there are others struggling to survive.
we try to ignore the problems in our world.
and even when we know, we don't do anything to stop it.

it's becoming a greedier, seedier world.
and without trying, i am a part of it.

i want to make a difference with what i do.
with who i am, and who i want to be.
whether it's the smallest thing or the biggest influence.
i want to believe that the heart behind it is enough.

"you only get what you give."
i want to give it all that i've got.

with everything.

with love and light,
eve morgan

New Eyes.

my mind really doesn't seem to comprehend the events prior until you realize you don't want to remember.
i had a conversation a day or two ago about what it's like to have memories.
to remember the good times.
or the bad.
i honestly think that if you can't remember things, it's not because your mind can't store the past. it's probably because there is one memory you try your hardest to forget; and in that struggle everything else slips by.

sometimes i wish i didn't have the best memory.

but then i don't think i could handle forgetting what has happened.
how i feel.

remembering the good memories is what keeps me from breaking down from the bad.
i just hate that i couldn't make the best of the end.
i'm going to miss the inspiration i got.
the source of confidence i had gained; one that pushed me to do things that made me feel alive.
feelings that seem to make me whole.
it'll be weird to not have that around with me.
but i'll still have it in my mind.

i'm not sure if i'll miss the person more, or the inspiration emerging from them.
i guess it's both.
and they are probably going to read this. but i honestly don't care.

i've had the most interesting summer.
and i think that what i've gained..
is a new perspective.

"change is scary. but instead of cowering about it, we move forward. and maybe, it'll change us for the better."

with love and light,
eve morgan

Mistakes.

there is no excuse.
"i just needed to feel better"
"it's okay to have fun sometimes"
"i was trying to get my mind off things"
when these lines are said, either from your mouth or someone else's, you know that it's crap.
fake.

sometimes you just have to feel badly.
don't take the easy way out.
with decisions, come consequences.
i learned that the hard way.

it's time i come to terms with how i feel.
not shrink away.

"time heals all wounds".

with love and light,
eve morgan