When I Was Young.

i went to a poetry slam last night. there were a bunch of students whom i knew and befriended, and some i had never laid eyes on before. they all stood up with strength, stating and expressing their story to a group of strangers: judging them, grading them on what they felt. i felt a sense of pride and wonder, surprised that every one of them had the guts to spill out their innards, revealing their deep, dark strife.

this inspired me. right then, listening to those beautiful words, hearing all of the emotion conquering the room: i wanted to write slam poetry.

so here it is, my slam poem.

when i was young, i was innocent. spending my days laughing without care, without worry, without problems or consequences. when i was young i made friends just because i wanted someone to play with.

when i was young i didn't judge people by the way they looked, or how they dressed, or what other friends they put themselves beside.

when i was young, i trusted people. i had faith that everyone was friendly, sweet, caring. i did not understand that the friends i made then would be the strangers i knew now. when i was young i didn't think of the bad things. i would run and skip and play and just live in my world, unaware and unknown to the life around me.

when i was young, i didn't understand. i didn't get why the friend i had known and loved had taken part of me and left. i didn't realize that my kindness was taken for granted, used just for some respect. i didn't know that someone i live with, whose DNA lies in my veins, wasn't mean to me just because.

when i was young, i was naive. i took things for granted, and had the gall to think that my life would be perfect, just like pretend, just like a fantasy. 

thoughts of these hit me hard when things didn't go smoothly and the rewards weren't mine. i was confused and angry, feeling as if life wasn't handing me the right situations, terrified because it wasn't giving me answers.

responsibility sunk in, the hope was replaced, and the joy i felt was completely erased. when i was young, i was protected, swallowed down and sheltered from the violence and horror of the crime and injustices that the world brings.

when i was young, life was easy. when i was young, everything smelled sweet, and there were so many colors.

when i was young, i had victories.

now that i know that i can be pushed down and thrown around, i have to create my own safety.

when i was young, i didn't know of battles, just of what felt savory.

but it feels so much better now. how?

i have bravery.

with love and light,
eve morgan